What else could there be? Why, inventions, of course!

Given my engineering background and creative predilections, it was just a matter of time before I invented something practical. Here are a couple inventions I actually did something with. I mean, other than scribble in a sketchbook somewhere and forget about it.

Smurks®—a patented system for graphically indexing and statistically processing emotional response.

It all started with a cartoon gag I couldn't make funny enough to draw up as a rough. If I had succeeded in making it funny, it would have eaten up another ten minutes of my life.

But as I was letting the gag die, I saw it from a serious angle and realized there was an idea there. I contacted a friend about it. Six years later—and untold hours of skull-splitting labor, we have a patent to show for our efforts. And neuropsychologists have a wonderful new tool to help people with emotional recognition difficulties.

The Shark Tooth™ eyeglass holder

So I had these wonderful new reading glasses that I loved. Yes, they were expensive. No, I did not want to wear them on my face all the time. So I tucked them in my collar, like normal people do.

And there I was, merrily whistling a tune while mowing the lawn, when I heard a CRUNCH. Curious, I looked down. I wept.

Then I did something about it. After a couple months of tinkering, even I was amazed at how well it worked (patent pending). And how cool it looked (additional patent pending).

Yes, I am wearing it this very minute.